Handsome Pilgrim Wants To Befriend Natives
ROANOKE, VA – A fortnight after landing in the New World, the well-spoken and attractive young Jeremy Frost suggested to his less attractive colonists that they should attempt to befriend the land’s native inhabitants. “There is so much these people may be able to teach us,” explained Frost in a smooth, deep tone while gesturing with his strong hands. His crew of bloated, flat-footed and altogether less visually appealing men responded to the suggestion with hesitance, but were predisposed to agree with Frost, given his visual appeal and charismatic charms. “Don’t worry lads, I’ll scout ahead and report back when I have spoken with the native leader,” concluded Frost as he effortlessly fastened a rifle over his chiseled shoulders and marched into the wilderness of the coastal plain. Upon reaching the tribe, Frost was immediately granted a princess-wife and a montage.



