Wife Absolutely Refuses To Do That
AUSTIN- At this moment in time, Janet Hutchison, longtime wife of Frank Hutchison, is completely positive she won’t do that. “I cook for Frank. I clean for him. I even take out the trash if I know he’s had a long day at work,” noted Janet, in defense of her actions. “But at some point, my generosity has its limits. What Frank asked me to do last Tuesday was my limit.” Frank has been largely quiet about the issue in question, at first refusing to speak to the media about his request. When pressed, Frank admitted it was a long shot at best, and that his wife did need the butter for cooking anyway.
- I’m a stress vegetarian.
- Your roommate’s beta fish becomes the first of his kind to receive too much attention.
- OH SHIT! I’ve had WinRaR on my computer for more than 40 days! What if they find out?!
- Leslie AND the Wendy’s guy moved away. They plan to start an entire family for RTF majors to film patronizing documentaries about.
- The campus smoking ban will decrease campus sexiness by 47%.
- Dude, let’s go play cakeball.
- On a recent trip to her date’s bathroom, environmentalist Terri Johnson will be torn between masking poop sounds and wasting water.
- Well, my mom found UTexas memes.
- Remember Greeks, high schoolers are discouraged from attending Round-Up weekend. So please discourage them with bright colors, free beer, and Wiz Khalifa.
- Chingo Bling will be visiting campus to give a speech. That’s funny, right?
- UT has made camping on campus illegal. Sorry, Xzibit.
- I’m craving southwestern-style chicken eggrolls. Do you want to eat out or in?
- Austin is the live music capital of the world. So basically, Austin is the Beijing of live music.
- Even if they sold clitoris lollipops, its not like guys could ever find them.
- I love sharing Google Docs because watching someone type makes me feel like I’m in So Weird.
- But I’m 21 by credit hours!
- After 500 episodes, Bart Simpson doesn’t look a day over season 7.
- Those business majors always wanna starch shit.
- Happy birthday! Make love by cake candlelight, fatty.
- Youyous are predictably not as popular as memes.
- 5-year-old Tommy Patel attempts to conceals his crayon error by smudging another color over it.
- You can’t call yourself a physicist. That’s a title you earn. Like knighthood.
- A lonely Econ major will find optimization of self interest with ‘visible hand’
- I don’t give a shit what they put in Taco Bell meat until I take a shit.
- Coldtowne Theater - Live Improv, sketch, and stand-up comedy
- Last Gas Comedy - Everything Austin Comedy
- The New Movement Theater - Improv and comedy classes
- Travesty Archives - All the way back to 2002
© 2012Texas Student Media
Grab the feed | Template design by Alyssa Peters
Cactus Yearbook |
The Daily Texan |
KVRX |
TSTV |
Texas Travesty
The University of Texas at Austin |
Comments to the Webmaster
PDFs require the free Adobe Reader® |
Accessibility