Verizon "network" really tired of walking everywhere for commercials
NEW YORK—Growing dissent is reportedly developing among Verizon Wireless employees, dismayed by their forced long-distances walks in the company's commercials. Employees have complained of fatigue, cramps, and general soreness, and have considered union action if they are not replaced in television spots for the company. "T-Mobile has Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley. They don't have to walk anywhere and they do a pretty good job," explained cellular tower technician Gary Johnston, whose selfless dedication to "The Network" has caused knee problems and will send him to an early retirement. "I'm hurting…bad....real bad…." Verizon is considering several candidates to replace the disgruntled "network" including Carrot Top, Tony Danza, and that one guy from the Shamwow commercials.
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