Dear Megan,

I really want a boyfriend, but every time I hook up with a guy, it’s like he’s gotten what he wanted and never calls again. Is there such a thing as sleeping with a guy too soon?

Not-So-Hot To Trot

Dear Not-So-Hot,

I think that you can’t really trust guys who only want to get in your pants, but that might be because I’m, like, really confident sexually. I don’t know where that comes from, since I was like a really big nerd in high school because all the guys thought I was really hot and all the girls didn’t like me. So you really can’t trust girls either, or I would tell you to try batting for the other team for a while. I think everyone’s a little bit bisexual, anyway. I know I am because I love women. I love their bodies, and how they smell. Women are so hot.

Dear Megan,

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for years now. At first, we thought we’d just let it happen naturally, but as time went by, it became obvious that we were going to have to seek medical help. So we’ve been working with a doctor on IVF lately, but still nothing’s happening. We’ve both been evaluated, and it looks like I’m the problem, not my husband. I know he really wants kids, and I’m afraid I’ll never be able to give them to him. In the back of my mind, I’m afraid he’ll leave me. What can I do?

Empty Inside

Dear Empty Inside,

Have y'all tried doing it doggystyle?

Dear Megan,

I really love my parents, but they can be closed-minded. I’m currently in an interracial relationship that’s starting to get serious. I’d like to introduce my boyfriend to my mom and dad, but I’m afraid they’ll judge him because he’s not the same race as they are. What can I do to convince them to love him as much as I do?

Colorblind

Dear Colorblind,

Is your boyfriend Indian? I think Indian guys are so hot. Black guys are also way hot. Barack Obama is really hot, and he’s a role model. I’m not really into politics or whatever but Obama really inspired me. So yeah, just tell your parents that if America can be in an interracial relationship with its president, they can deal with the fact that you’re in an interracial relationship. Plus biracial babies are really pretty. I’m Native American and French.

Dear Megan,

My boyfriend and I are having some communication problems. I never know where he is, and he comes home really late at night and doesn’t tell me where he’s been. When I ask where he’s been, he tells me that I’m being a whiny bitch. How can I get him interested in talking to me?

Invisible girlfriend

Dear Invisible Girlfriend,

I totally understand what you’re going through. People think that because of the way I look, I don’t have anything to say. And obviously I do have something to say because I’m saying something right now. So just keep talking.