AUSTIN—Notorious serial killer, Leathermask, grew impatient yesterday after waiting for hours in the bushes outside of accountant Stephanie Wright’s home so he could brutally massacre her with his chainsaw. “Christ, she’s taking forever,” said Leathermask as he finally resigned to sitting down. “This is getting ridiculous. Some people have absolutely no concept of time. I have places to be.” While waiting in the bushes, Leathermask bought some new apps for his iPhone, but spent most of his time torturing whatever small animals he could find. As of press time, Leathermask was walking to the neighbors’ house to see if there was anyone else he could murder.