Brilliant groundhog scientists predict weather patterns for North America

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PUNXSUTAWNEY- The scientific community was elated Thursday when a pair of astute groundhogs released an intensive, 20-year study of climatological patterns in North America, sources say. The two groundhogs, Dr. French Creek Freddie and Dr. Jimmy the Groundhog, emerged from their burrow for an 11 a.m. press conference with members of the national and local media. “Our findings are consistent with our hypothesis, that the casting of a shadow ensures a 65% percent chance of chillier weather for most forms of life in the Northern Hemisphere,” explained Dr. French Creek Freddie as he tucked a few nuts and grubs into his lab coat. “Conversely, our data shows that the lack of a shadow is a primary indicator of warmer temperatures, the likes of which are perfect for swimming, eating, and most importantly: frantic burrowing.” This marks the second major scientific study from the rodent family Sciuridae, when in 2007 a scholarly marmot predicted the boom of social networking sites on the Internet.