Opinions

Point / Counterpoint: This crime scene is MY jurisdiction!

You truly are a piece of shit, Mickey. I just got a call from headquarters saying we've got two guys with their brains spread out all over upper Manhattan, and you fuck-ups show up hours later expecting to wrap up this case? If you 5th precinct cock-rags think you're going to contaminate my high-profile homicide crime scene, you're fucking greatly mistaken my friend.

I sincerely hope Barack Obama is not the anti-Christ

A friend of mine just got back from a summer in New York. While I was waiting tables at an Austin country club founded by a man who once apologized to Dick Cheney for rudely putting his face in the way of the vice president's bullets, she was busy researching for one Manhattan photo shoot after the next.

I'm waiting until marriage to finger a woman

I consider myself a man of strong values, and those values extend to how I treat the opposite sex. I pride myself in adhering to my morals when it comes to courtship, and despite society's advocacy of the contrary, I refuse to finger a woman until I make her my wife.

The P! Company Megashow: The 'P!' stands for Poopy

Prepare for THE P! COMPANY MEGASHOW. The Texas Travesty is producing a new night of comedy with Austin's local sketch comedy group, The P! Company.